3 Ways to Love People Who Don’t Like You

Screenshot-2015-01-27-07.16.15-1024x649from iBelieve.com

also known as:

how not to act like a little dog on a leash.

So this funny thing happens when you decide to really be you. Sometimes people don’t like it.

I know this, because I’ve spent an enormous amount of energy over the course of my life trying to get people to like me. Have you ever watched a dog competition? Living your life trying to get everyone to like you is a little like being a dog in a dog show. It’s like handing a leash to another person and then committing to do a bunch of tricks and turns in response to their moves. It’s acting and reacting in response to your owner, which is an interesting word to use when you think about it. If you are prone to use approval from others as your way of shaping your identity, “owner” might be just the right word.

Allowing our own identity to be “owned” by another’s approval might be one of the great reasons why it’s worth fighting against. I’ve learned the hard way that people’s approval cannot be the way I make decisions.  First–because it’s exhausting to be a trained dog. Second–it never works. It has a 100% failure rate because no matter how hard I try, I cannot actually get everyone to like me.

Go ahead, say it out loud: “Self: Not everyone is going to like me.”

Whew, you did it. See? You didn’t spontaneously combust. You are still you, even if someone doesn’t like it. Baby steps.

Here’s three other ways to keep loving people even when they don’t like you:

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Why are Working Women Starting to Unplug from Their Churches?

Woman prayingBy on December 5, 2014 originally posted at the Institute for Faith, Work and Economics

When we look in the pews on Sunday morning, what kinds of women do we see?

Wives with their husbands? Mothers with their children? The single women sitting alone in the back rows?

Yes, they are all of those things and so much more. How do we use these women to grow and serve the church?

Camouflaged in Church

In America, 47% of the workforce is made up of women, and the percentage has doubled in every age category since 1950, according to the U.S. Congress Joint Economic Committee. The Committee also reports that 83% of women raising children work outside of the home, compared to 47% in 1975. AND a whopping 75% of them work full-time!

These women are out there. In fact, We may not realize that half of the women in the church are working women, because they are camouflaged.

We’re not talking about green outfits. No, her camouflage looks different. Her camouflage is her Sunday-best, children calling her “Mommy,” and maybe a strong, spiritual husband beside her. She blends with others because there is no other group for her.

And what about the single women who don’t get married until later in life? They don’t fit into the different affinity groups:  “moms”, “married”, “divorced.” And the “singles” are often college-aged/recent graduates that don’t relate to them either.

Many of these women haven chosen to not marry yet and are in the workplace, but they often quietly slip in and out of church to avoid the sympathy, advice, and blind dates that are thrown their way. Sadly, they may end up seeing themselves as “not-mothers” and “not-wives” instead of someone who is pursuing her Ephesians 2:10 calling in the workplace.

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